ON YOUR 7TH BIRTHDAY

Will this be the last year you crawl into my bed? Will this be the last year you want me to tuck you in? Will this be the last year you need me to give you a bath? Will this be the last year you will run to me with a hug after school? Will this be the last year you tell me I’m your BFF? Will this be the last year you hold my hand? Will this be the last year you will want to dress up like my mini me? These are the questions I have on your 7th birthday.

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With each year I watch you grow, mature and change as every mother does. Maybe there’s a big difference between 6 and 7. Maybe it’s because you are our only child and I won’t have another child to go through these moments with. Whatever it is the emotions of your 7th birthday are heavy, my dear child. I talked recently about this in this post.

It was easy to let you crawl into bed with me each night because your Dad has always worked nights since before you were born. I let you stay up later and later because having your little body running around the house made me feel less alone. Sure I could’ve put you to bed earlier but a part of me didn’t want to. Those late nights together just became our thing. Will this be the last year you crawl into my bed? Will this be the last year you want me to tuck you in?

You still play with your toys in the bathtub. I have flashbacks to washing you in the kitchen sink every time I come in to bathe you. Soon enough you’ll tell me you are too old for baths and are ready to graduate to showers everyday. Sure I’ll be relieved but I’ll also yearn for those memories of watching you splash around and tossing your My Little Pony toys under the bath faucet. Will this be the last year you need me to give you a bath?

Watching you walk into your new school last year and start kindergarten was such a monumental moment. So brave. So confident. None of that has changed. You made friends. You found your way. You made your mark. You didn’t struggle. I did. Trying to find my place and navigate through your new chapter was not easy for me. But gosh I tried. I tried so hard to do everything right for you. I wanted you to find your way so badly but my dear beauty you found it all on your own. Everyday you came home with a smile and a hug. Will this be the last year you will run to me with a hug after school?

We have something so special, don’t we Summer? Maybe it’s because of the relationship I have with my own mother. That bond runs crazy deep and naturally I wanted to pass that down to you. Thank you for making it easy. You shop with me every chance you can say yes. You are patient with me while I work. You open up every campaign box I get and ooh and ahh over what’s inside. You critique my photos and help me decide on the yes and the no’s. Only a best friend would do that. You always have been and will always be my best friend. Will this be the last year you tell me I’m your BFF?

Once so shy and timid you have blossomed into such an outgoing and bubbly little soul. Everyone who meets you loves you. That aura you were born with just shines more and more each year. But as brave and confident as you are you still reach for my hand when embraced with the unknown. When we shop we hold bags in one hand and hold hands with the other. Will this be the last year you hold my hand?

Every little girl grows up wanting to look just like their mama. Toddlers wearing their mom’s high heels, draped in pearls and wearing pink lipstick. It’s part of the glory of being a girl mama. We get to have those moments with our little daughters. How many times over the years you have wanted to match your outfit and accessories to mine. How many times you said you want to wear your hair like mine. Will this be the last year you will want to dress up like my mini me?

Maybe it will be. The pitter patter of your feet running down the hall at 4am are becoming less and less. There are nights you attempt to put yourself to bed but call me in 10 minutes later. We’ve had baths that you wash yourself and overflow the tub with bubbles. Most days at pickup are greeted with a hug but there have been days you were so immersed in saying goodbye to your friends. You tell me I’m your BFF daily but also remind me of your other BFFs at school. You still reach for my hand when you are nervous but you let go much quicker these days. BUT you still aren’t ready to pass up dressing up just like me.

Eventually it’ll be the last time for crawling into bed, tucking you in, washing you, after school hugs, holding my hand, and dressing up like me but I hope so deeply it’ll never be the last time you call me your BFF. Go at your own pace my darling daughter. Fly when you are ready. Let go when you are ready. Each hour, day and year with you has been the greatest blessing in my life. Each stage with you lives in my heart. I will never have another child to go through these things with. I am so grateful I went through it all with you.

Am I ready to let go? Is any mother ever ready to let go? Of course not. But each chapter brings such beautiful memories, experiences and lessons. While the baby years are fading the excitement for the years to come are upon us. And I am ready. I am ready to walk beside you for as long as you need me there to hold your hand. And when you don’t need my hand anymore — I’ll be walking close behind. On your 7th birthday and all the days ahead I’ll never be far behind.

As a little girl my Dad used to always get me balloons. A few months before he passed away he surprised me with a trip in a hot air balloon. It was my most favorite memory of him. Balloons are still my favorite. Maybe it’s that little girl who still lives in me. Keep that little girl spirit alive Summer. No matter how big you get, on your 7th birthday and beyond — stay a little girl. It makes life that much sweeter. Happy 7th Birthday Summer Sofia. You are so loved.

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MY DRESS (c/o Chicwish) | SUMMER’S DRESS (c/o Chicwish) | SUMMER’S BOW (similar here)